When It Rains, Do We Still Let Him Reign?

Today was the last day of classes. And I withdrew from Calculus. This was a huge battle for me - over the semester, this class changed my personality, changed my perspective, it got me on my knees seeking God with every part of my heart and soul, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was bail out on the last day after all of the hard work I had put in. During this semester, I have literally gone moment by moment -not even just day by day. I have been at the point of asking God to help me just make it through the next minute of classes. I have realized more and more how pointless most things in this world are, and it was getting difficult to care about doing work in classes that I don’t even like, to attain a grade that meets society’s standards, to eventually “make it” in this world that makes us jump through so many hoops. I have fallen so in love with God, I have realized that everything I’ve done up to this point is to satisfy people other than God, and coming to that realization has completely turned my world upside down in an awesome way. Before walking this closely with God, while still being a perfectionist and still looking to society for validation, I would be in an absolute conniption about withdrawing from Calculus right now. I would be so angry, thinking I failed. (I’m THAT kid who has never even made a B in her life, let alone withdrawn from a class) But you know what? God has been changing my perspective this year. I am seeing things with His eyes more and more, and I’m seeing this life in relation to Eternity. I’m not one bit sad about withdrawing, and I honestly mean that! It has taught me that sometimes, no matter how hard you work, you just have to let things go. You just have to trust that God’s plans still reign, that He still reigns in your life, regardless of current circumstances. And that’s what I’m doing. Withdrawing doesn’t mean I’m less of a person, it doesn’t mean I’m a failure, it doesn’t mean I suck at life. It means that I am learning to admit when I don’t understand something, it means that I’m acknowledging that I cannot always depend on myself. It means that I am fallible. And that’s what makes me human. And God is infallible; perfection. And that is the difference between us. That’s part of what makes my relationship with Him so beautiful, is that He catches me every time, and that I am in the best situation possible when I continue to trust in Him and His plans. So now, I emerge from this semester, having grown SO. MUCH. This was one of the hardest seasons of my life - but I can honestly say that it has been so beneficial. I’m happy it’s over, but I’m glad it happened. God used it to mold me into a girl who reflects Him more and more each day, He used it to show me how to trust Him again, and He used it to deepen His relationship with me. And I’m so grateful. Things don’t always go the way we want them to - but who ever said that it’s our way or the highway? God sees all things from beginning to end - and when we choose to trust Him no matter what is happening around us, He can work all things together for our good. Now, I continue on my journey of getting to know Him and trusting Him, walking in the new qualities that this season has created in me, and being in love with my Creator. God, my Provider, my Healer, my Peace, my Joy, my Defender, my best Friend, my Father > Calculus. I encourage you, no matter what you’re going through, no matter what society is telling you or what circumstances look like, make the conscious decision to trust Him. Read your Bible, know Who He is, know His character, know what He says about trusting Him. Trust is not a random feeling that walks into our heart. It’s a choice. Decide to look to God even if the whole world caves in, and you’ll always come out smelling like a rose. To quote Starfield, hold the Hand that holds the world. Trust the One Who loves you and wants the best for you more than anyone else could ever desire for you.  


"My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise. I will praise thee, O Lord, among the people: I will sing unto thee among the nations. For thy mercy is great unto the heavens, and thy truth unto the clouds. Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens: let thy glory be above all the earth." -Psalm 57:7, 9-11

"Reign In Us" - Starfield

You thought of us before the world began to breathe
And You knew our names before we came to be
You saw the very day we'd fall away from You
And how desperately we need to be redeemed

Lord Jesus come lead us
We're desperate for Your touch
Oh Great and Mighty One, with one desire we come
That You would reign, that You would reign in us
We're offering up our lives, a living sacrifice
That You would reign, that You would reign in us

Spirit of the Living God fall fresh again
Come search our hearts and purify our lives
We need Your perfect love
We need Your discipline
We're lost unless You guide us with Your light

Lord Jesus come lead us
We're desperate for Your touch

We cry out
For Your love to refine us 
For Your love to define us 
For Your mercy to keep us blameless until You return

So reign, please reign in us
Come purify our hearts we need Your touch
Come cleanse us like a flood and send us out
So the world may know YOU reign, You reign in us

"The Things we Chase, the Status we Crave, it's Nothing. We Invest in the Bankers, but Not in the Maker. Think about it." -Bryce Avary

I’ve been realizing a lot lately. God has been showing me so much every day -my mind is constantly being blown by His awesomeness. There’s this song, “Nothing Matters” by the Rocket Summer, and it totally describes how I’ve felt lately. My eyes have been opened to just how pointless most of this life is, how we work so hard for status, for money, for things that die when we die. We put all our faith, all our belief, all our focus on things that society tells us are important. God has been showing me that it’s important to invest in things that are eternal, to invest in Him. To form a strong relationship with Him every day, because that’s what counts forever. That’s what never dies. How do we form a strong relationship? It’s not hard. Voice a desire to God that you want to get to know Him more, talk to Him, pray to Him, repent to Him, read the Bible to learn Who He is and how loving He feels towards you, and act with Him how you would act with a best friend, because that’s what He is. Get plugged into a great church with people who love you and support you [if you need a church, come find me! I’ll help you find one!] And it’s actually really freeing to realize that nothing matters in this life. It sounds depressing, but it’s really not! It’s awesome! I don’t have to spend my time stressed out or anxious about making things happen, about attaining status or making money, or creating my life into something that society deems acceptable. I’m already accepted by the Creator of the universe and am seeing things from an eternal perspective more and more each day. I am falling more in love with Him each day and getting to know His character more and more, and that is when all things change. I just went through one of those weeks where you look at your calendar and it makes your eyes spin... but I gave it all to God last Sunday before I started the week, and this week has been so great! I made the decision to look at God instead of my circumstances, and everything worked out so well, all with me being happy and free of stress. God is constantly bringing people into my life to form great relationships with, as well as people who want to know Him. It’s amazing, I don’t even have to try! I’ve had at least eight conversations with random people over the past two weeks about Christ, with people just flocking to know the Truth. God is so awesome. It just all goes to show, when we put God first in our lives, when we make Him Ruler over EVERYTHING, He makes all things come together and work for our good. That, I have seen and live out every day. Let’s remember to put God first and to resist getting bogged down in what seems so real around us. Make sure the life you live will carry over into the next. Invest in Eternity.